Fallen so Far
by BeastRage the Hunter
Summary: Once she was a goddess. Now she was a baby-maker for an alien race. Three-shot.
1. Falling

A/N: A plot-bunny born from my thoughts on the Christianity/pagan tradition holiday mix and how maybe Primus wasn't as great as he seemed...maybe even enough to condone a plot to find a new energy-source for the 13 Primes to use for their people. None of the quotes belong to me. Enjoy!

* * *

I was a queen. A goddess. Mother of so many children. Now...I am nothing. Less than nothing. A mere blip, albeit one powerful enough to power the cube that has kept me captive. How I came to be within this cube is a story in itself.

I protected my children from harm. But even I could not stop the stars from falling.

They fell, bringing life with them. Hungry life, life that was much larger than my children. I waited and watched. It was not long before the strange beings revealed their purpose. They began hunting my children down. Began destroying the very earth itself. Searching for something that neither I nor my mate could fathom.

My children, of course, fought back. They battled the invaders. But it was all in vain; they failed. My mate made many visits, ferrying their souls to Life Beyond. So many of my children were killed, until only a few were left. My children came to me and I gave them what they asked for: a way to flee the now dying world. However, the process of doing so revealed me to the beings. The creatures came in my sanctuary, destroying everything they could.

Until I was alone...alone and powerless. My mate banished from me, I was lured into a deep slumber. A deep slumber that ended with my awaking inside the cube.

For a long time, I tried to escape. All to no avail. Every attempt ended in pain and a sense of utter failure. I had failed my children in falling to this new foe. I had sent them away to a place none would find them. Not even me. Who would protect them from the darkness now? Who would comfort them when they cried, would assure them that they deserved mercy?

_"The dangerous falls were the ones that happened so fast you didn't have time to react" _

* * *

I brooded for a time. Until something shocked out of the surrounding darkness. The cube I was in, its symbols (the ones that kept me trapped) lit up and I discovered that I was surrounded by my children's enemies. The ones that had scattered them to the winds.

I wanted to attack, but could not, not in my current form. I filled up with energy, energy I knew was not mine. I did not expect it to be from the beings below me. Curious, I accessed codes I never knew I could open, to receive a shock. _They thought I was gift from their god. _A gift meant to build their race to to greatness.

My new-found knowledge led me to sink into despair. I did not think, nor care about anything for generations. They wanted energy for...something, I did not know what, and I provided it, as long as I was left alone the rest of the time. All was a strange sense of peace and numbness.

And truly, I did not care.

_"The sensation of falling was the worst part."_

* * *

I awake; the stars seem closer now than they were before. The world has changed. I pay attention to the scurrying almost-insects around me for the first time, learning much from the experience.

"Prime, are you sure you want to do this? Send the Allspark into space." A firm voice replies. "Yes, Jazz. I am sure. The only way to find an end to this war is if the Allspark is out the Decepticons' reach." "If you say so..."

I feel for my children's connections, having neglected checking them. I am surprised to find that my bonds are far more numerous. These bonds lead to the almost-insects surrounding me, so much like the beings of the past. They are _my _children as well, I find. The past-beings did not foretell this, I know it. Did not foretell that their captured once-goddess would build up her forces as a result from their enslavement.

I will protect my children. No matter if they my old children or new. They are mine to protect. I glimpse new hope now. Perhaps I will find my mate again in my 'launch' to the heavens. Find my old children, who have been alone for so long.

I touch the stars now, sailing through space in my prison. I am a queen. A goddess. Mother of so many children. And...I am the Allspark.

_"Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know...The only thing that counts is whether you get back up."_


	2. Lost

A/N: This will now divided up into three parts, ending with the Allspark's destruction in Mission City.

* * *

I was buried in the dirt, the dust of a planet so new, newer than the old world I had come from. But it was alive, in ways that the world I had been launched from had never been. It was not tame, not controlled. And I knew that this would be where I would find my old children and my mate. Where they would come. I only needed to wait. For if my new insect children are of the earth, seemingly unchangeable, my old children were of air and fire, full of emotion and changing views in a second.

I waited so long. But I only found strange creatures, of flesh like my old children, but different in the way they walked on two legs and were armor-less. They jabbered in a strange language, reminding me of one of my eldest children of the past. They were very curious and I knew that if they kept it so, they would eventually find me.

_"Not all those who wander are lost."_

* * *

Time passed. The fleshlings died and new ones took their places.

Suddenly I felt something hit this planet I was on. One of my newer children. One filled with pain and hate, now filled with fear of the strange new substance surrounding him. I comforted him the best I could, shutting his body down so he would be able to sleep. Doing my best, I contacted assist. That assistance came in the most unlikely of forms: a fleshling breaking through the ice to find my child buried within.

The year in their terms was 1897.

They dug him up and I sighed in relief, for now I could help him better. But it was a long time before they brought my son to me. A long time before I realized what they had been doing to him in that time, and would do with me.

_"Getting lost is just another way of saying 'going exploring."_

* * *

1913.

They found me. Found me and hurt me terribly. I could not blame them, not really. It was in their attempt to understand, and they did not know that I was alive, in pain from their shocks. Still, part of me could not help but compare them to the ancient foes that had captured me.

1931.

A formation of stone and water was being formed around me. Eventually the fleshlings completed it and I began to be in pain once again. Pain I wished I could escape. It stopped for a time, when they moved my child, my frozen child, in the room next to me. The pain started again, but this time it was mostly from the torture of my child.

The fleshlings learned with time and experience how to force me to birth my children. Every one of them, scared of this new world, were either brutally tortured or murdered by unforgiving fleshlings. Oh, how I wished I could weep.

But I was a cube, trapped in a prison from the past. I could not weep or save my children. And for that, I deserved the pain. I deserved to die. But I cannot die. I was trapped long ago in this cube, prevented from fulfilling the cycle. My only hope was that any of my children outside would find me.

_"Weeping is not the same thing as crying. It takes your whole body to weep, and when it's over, you feel like you don't have any bones left to hold you up."_

* * *

2007

Today is different. I know it. I also know many other facts, that I cannot let the child in the other room get a hold of me. For he has been led away, though he denies it, and if he ever grabbed hold of me, all of my children would suffer, including him. I cannot let that happen.

Whether it be luck or fate, my other children have come. I feel them coming for me, though they do not understand who I really am. The fleshlings that guard me have captured one of my children, the small yellow one, the youngest. I feel his screams and screeches, and shudder from it. _How can they be saved?_

New fleshlings are lead inside my prison. I pay little attention until one says my frozen child's name. "That's Megatron." Interested, I listen closely. This fleshling -no, human- speaks of friendship. I see him try to comfort my poor yellow child. When the yellow child comes and asks for me, I give myself to him. In part because he means no harm and wishes to rescue his kin, but also in part because of the small human that stands by his side.

In part because of the blood of my elder children I sense running through the new-comers' veins. It seems that I have new children. Some humans, but not all.

I was buried in the dirt. Now I see the light again. And I know that the cycle must come to an end. It is close, I feel. My end must come. I will remember my children, but in the end, I must remember who I am. A goddess and mother of so many children. The Allspark.

_"Remember your name. Do not lose hope -what you seek will be found."_


	3. Knowledge

We fled before the coming storm. My frozen child would be awakened and we had to escape before that happened.

My children brought me to a place surrounded by many humans. I saw that this was not wise. These humans would die amid my children's attempt to keep me safe. I would not advise, however. They deserved a chance to learn and grow. Sometimes, that means making mistakes. Huge ones that one always regretted afterwards.

I knew nothing of how this would all end. All I knew was that I could not fall into Megatron's hands. And that the cycle must be completed. All else was left to fate.

_"I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing."_

* * *

The battlefield was chaotic. I had been on no battlefield since my imprisonment. Before...I recalled defending my elder children from dark powers, fighting above as they fought below. Now, I was a defenseless box carried through war by a rather under-sized human. Not the best of chances for survival.

I jostled back and forth in the boy's arms, as he raced past my fighting children.

He tripped- no, not really. He was almost hit by a car, by spoiled arrogant humans that did not seem to realize what was going on around them. Angered, I wished I could teach them the values of observation. I released energy that arced all over the place, accidentally creating new children in this world that would not accept them. A simple mistake, created by senseless rage.

I regretted my actions, of course, but that would do nothing to keep these new sparklings safe. Using the new fresh connections, I quickly inserted several new lines of coding that would allow them to find me whenever they wished...and a few more additions. Hopefully, they would survive, long enough to find each other. I did not have hope that if they were found by my warring, older children, that they would survive. It was better to hide in the shadows, until I could return to them.

And I _would _return. But first I had to complete the cycle.

_"When you know better you do better."_

* * *

"WATCH OUT!" It was too late for the human soldiers on the now-flaming helicopter.

He failed. We had failed. Now, I would stand with him to the end. This was the end, or close to it. I felt it, in the power that coursed through me. The boy, being human, felt none of it. "Oh my God...where do I go?" The Prime, one of my greatest children, for all that he bears the signs of my hated enemies, raced over the rooftops. To get to the human and myself, I was sure.

For a second, I felt we will be safe. Before my angry child, my frozen son, _Megatron_, crashed through the roof. The boy held on tightly to the edge of the building, hanging onto me with one arm and the apparent statue with the other. And for the first time, I was full of _fear _at the sight of the Lord High Protector. Fear for the delicate being that held me in his grasp.

"Is it fear or courage that compels you, fleshing?" The human's heartbeat tensed before rolling into a extremely quickened state. My son assumed fear, I can tell, but he was wrong. What compelled this human wad not mere fear. It was a courage that caused him to act beyond it. One that prompted him to rescue my yellow child, his friend, from his own kind.

"Give me the Allspark, and you may live to be my pet." A twisted sense of amusement coated his words, as Megatron reached forward. My carrier quivered, before making his decision. "I'm never giving you this Allspark!" Pride flooded through me. This human, _Sam,_ proved himself worthy. I would grant him life, even if this encounter ends his. My frozen child had the opposite reaction. "Oh, so unwise..." He hissed, devastating the statue holding us above the street.

Sam cried out as he plunged to his death, I to my fate. Fate intervened on his behalf and the Prime's hand closed around the both of us. I was barely able to hear, "I got you, boy. Hold onto the Cube!" before his brother leapt forward on top of us.

_"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."_

* * *

Sam still carries me. We wait for the end. For the titans to end their clash. But I know what he does not. His Prime will not win, not against the might of his more powerful, ruthless, older brother. The tide must be turned. And it must be turned now.

The boy's mind flies from one thought to the next. It is difficult seeing his thoughts, but I manage it. I find the two parts I need, and link them together in his mind. I wait for him to take action, for his courage will allow to do what must be done. Because of his origins, he will never be the kind of great warrior Megatron would fear. Because of his origins, he will not hesitate to do what he must to save the Prime.

He will not hesitate to end me.

_Now! _Sam sees the open spark of Megatron. And uses the only weapon he has on hand. Me. I plunge into his spark, my rebellious child's spark. I regret how this must end, but he would never allow peace and my cycle must be completed. My children's story will finish without me.

Horrible pain burns throughout the whole of me, worse than any other I have ever felt. But somehow, I bear it. I divide my strength, sending it to my children, sending the most of it to two in particular. I spark, finally dying. I leave my shell, partaking with my final moments the Prime's words. "You left me no choice, brother."

_"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring."_

* * *

I am the future, for all of my children come from me. I am the past, for I am what they have always known.

But am I the present? Only time will tell. I leave what I can for my children, eldest to youngest, to find.

I do know who I am. I am a goddess of two races. A queen and mate of a god. A life-giver, mother of many. Subject of a cycle of life and death. I was the Allspark. I will come anew. But one thing I am, was always. I am Sorrow, goddess of life, in its many forms.

_"There are causes worth dying for, but none worth killing for." _


End file.
